All is not well…My dad passed away in April after a long fight with cancer. First it was in the lung and then the throat. And countless complications in between. Since the past year I’ve been dividing my time between home and Haflong, my hometown. Dad’s condition had greatly deteriorated since the past year and every time I left him, it was with a sinking feeling that it would be the last….

My parents were together for 50 years. In March as we gathered for the celebration, he was totally bed-ridden but happy!! When I went back in April, he had gone into a semi-coma and the following days were the worst…

I won’t be posting for a while….My thanks to all of you who stopped by and left your comments. I’d like to mention Mildred, Susie and Andrea for checking in on me. Thanks!

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About Kanak Hagjer

Hello from north-east India! I love to blog about all things floral and foliar and sharing the beauty of my region is what I am most passionate about!
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32 Responses to

  1. I am so sorry to hear your very sad news Kanak. I knew your dad was very ill but I know from experience that its still hard to accept that they are not there anymore even when you knew he would never recover.

    I am so glad that you had that family celebration in March and its a memory you will always cherish along with your mum having your dad so happy at the event though I am sure his last few weeks were very difficult to watch and cope with.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Kanak.

    Rosie

    • kanak7 says:

      Thank you, Rosie. Yes, the March celebration will remain in our hearts… Despite all that suffering, the memory of the 50th does make it a little easier. At least he lived till then….

  2. Diana says:

    Dear Kanak, I am do sorry for your loss, but knowing that your father is now in a place where he is no longer suffering may offer a bit of consolation. There is nothing quite like losing a parent, and after 7 years I still miss my mother deeply and hold dear all those wonderful moments with her.

    You are in our thoughts and prayers and if there is anything we can do, please let us know.

    • kanak7 says:

      Diana, thank you so much! It does…seeing what we had only heard or read about–that too to our loved one, was too much to bear. I can understand about your mother. I hope I can put all of dad’s suffering behind me and start thinking about the days before the cancer struck.

  3. walk2write says:

    I’m sorry, Kanak, for not keeping up with you on the blog. I wish you and your family peace and comfort in the days and weeks to come. Be good to yourself too while helping your mom.

  4. joey says:

    Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Kanak. Believe me, I know this is not an easy time. (((BIG HUGS)))

  5. Susie says:

    Kanak I’m so sorry to hear this. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers my friend.

  6. Dear Kanak, Losing a parent is not easy and I am so sorry for your recent loss. It is a blessing that your parents celebrated their 50th, despite the circumstances–in fact, that’s almost exactly how it worked for my parents, as well. My dad died of cancer (after fighting for a long time) just a couple of months after their 50th, back in 2005. Memories are a wonderful thing, and I hope you & your family will be able to recall the good ones on a regular basis. My thoughts & prayers are will you now;-) Jan

    • kanak7 says:

      Jan, I’ve been telling myself that too. Cancer can be debilitating for the family as well. For years it was the rushed visits, the hospitals, and then the vigil. I hope we’ll soon be able to think about life as we had known before everything took a turn for the worse. I’m sorry to hear about your dad too. But the coincidence…I’m glad your parents made it to their 50th .

  7. Stephanie says:

    Dear Kanak, take care šŸ™‚

  8. Chandramouli says:

    I am really sorry to hear this. I pray that your dad’s soul reaches the heaven and may be bless you from there. Your mom needs your support and comfort. I know no words can comfort or console a person at such times, but time would do it. Take care.

  9. islandgal246 says:

    Oh Kanak my sincere condolences to you and your family.

  10. Zindagi says:

    Kanak, So sorry to hear about this.

    I’ll pray for his Soul to rest in peace and you please do take care of yourself and others.

    Regards

  11. AbirandAnisha says:

    Dear Kanak didi,

    Hope you know our prayers have been there always. It’s a loss that words can’t describe, we understand. Your father will continue to bless you even if he is in God’s company now.

    Tipu and Pami

  12. arati says:

    so sorry for your loss kanak. take care and when yuo can, do continue with the blog..

  13. Titania says:

    Dear Kanak, I am sad to hear that your Dad passed away. It is always such a sad time when one has to say goodbye for ever to loved ones. I hope that many happy memories remain. I am thinking of you. Trudi.

  14. wendy says:

    Dear Kanak, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear father. I wondered why you hadn’t posted, but I also have been away. My dear hubby is in hospital in the palliative care unit. He’d been sick since the end of march and early april I called an ambulance to have him taken to hospital.

    Keeping you in my heart and sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.

  15. Jeanne says:

    Kanak, I’m really sorry to hear about this. Trust you and your family are doing OK.

  16. lotusleaf says:

    Dear Kanak,
    I returned from my holiday just now. I was very sorry to hear about your father. Nobody can replace a father. My hearfelt condolences to you, your mother and your family.
    Padma

  17. Autumn Belle says:

    Kanak, I was wondering why you haven’t posted as frequently lately but please forgive me for not having the forsight to check your blog more regularly. I thought you were on holiday.

    I am so very sorry and shocked to hear the sad news but thankful that you choose to let us know what had happened even in times of grief. I do understand the pain you are going through, having lost both my parents in the span of only 3 years. It is so very painful to watch a parent so helplessly being eaten by an incurable disease and see them suffer silently in pain. It happened to my mom too, she had end stage renal failure and had to be on dialysis for a year before her passing. It happened so suddenly when she had a stroke, we the daughters were not there for her when she breathed her last. That was what saddened me most. If only I could turn back the clock. But life has to go on, we need to take care of our families. Cry your heart out until there is no more grief. Time does heal. I still have tears in my heart and eyes whenever I get emotional about her but now mostly I have fond memories. I remember the good morals values my parents had taught me and teach them to my kids. This is a time when gardening and writing and talking about it will help ease the pain and mend your broken heart. Take care, Kanak. Your dad will always live on in your heart and in all the little little things that you do everyday.

  18. Susie says:

    Hey Kanak, just wanted to stop by and let you know you are being thought of. I look forward to seeing your return. My prayer to you my friend.

  19. Autumn Belle says:

    Kanak, it is a very good idea that you are going back to spend more time with your mom, to console her and help fill the emptiness in her life now. She must be feeling very sad and lost at the moment.

  20. Andrea says:

    My condolences Kanak. Go back to gardening to alleviate the pain and be in touch with nature again. We all go there, some just go ahead! God bless and take care.

  21. Mildred says:

    Just a note to say that I appreciated your visit. I have thought of you so often during the last weeks. You and your family remain in my heart and prayers Kanak. I hope the rain will give you a break from the heat.

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